The media make
us believe that skinny is beautiful and 20 pounds too many means you're doomed.
Nobody will ever love you and you will die alone just because you're »fat«.
That's why
articles on weight loss exist in millions on the web.
I've spent most
of my life (child, teen, and adult) believing that I was fat, and was, as such,
imperfect, tarnished, and unworthy of love. Some people in my life did nothing
to stop me from believing that. In fact, some people in my life did what they
could to keep me believing that.
So I would diet.
I barely ate anything for a period of time. I'd weigh less and less, but every
time I looked in the mirror I'd be repulsed by all the »fat« I saw.
I had such low self esteem. My confidence was next
to none. It seemed like nothing was more important than losing weight and
becoming thin. I was 14.
Then I grew up a
bit. I realized that beauty comes more from the inside, from taking care of yourself, from loving yourself. I started wearing nice clothes. I started treating my whole self with
respect. And most importantly, I stopped comparing myself to others and listening
to what the media was telling me beautiful meant.
Beauty is just a
social construct, and it's different in every era and place on Earth. In this
modern day and age, the media show us an image of supposed beauty, not because
people who look like that are actually, undeniably beautiful, but because of
the money it's bringing. Tell the public skinny is beautiful, and sales of
weight loss products, diet foods, and fad diets will skyrocket.
In reality, your
weight really isn't an issue as far as being beautiful goes. Being »fat« does
not mean you are ugly.
I'm not saying
that you shouldn't, in any case, be trying to lose weight. If you're not
feeling OK, if your health is declining and if you're finding it hard to
perform everyday tasks, then by all means consider if your weight might be the
reason. But don't lose weight because you want to feel beautiful. If you want
to feel beautiful, look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. Say
it, and say it out loud: »Hell, I AM beautiful!« Think of all the good things
you've done in your life, and how happy they made you and others feel. Learn to
love your body for enabling you to move, to dance, to sing. Don't shove it into
tiny clothes in the hopes of fitting in with the rest of the crowd; wear a
flowy dress or baggy pants and admire the comfort you feel when you're dressed
in your favourite pajamas.
Look at some
pictures of bigger girls online. Look at how nice they're dressed, and look at
how confident they are. They are BEAUTIFUL.
As for the
haters? (And yes, there will be haters, because they are EVERYWHERE, praying on
our weaknesses to try and make us feel miserable): Fuck them! If someone tells
you you're fat, you're lazy, you're unworthy just tell them: »And you're a
horrible person, so who's worse off?« Remember, even people who are underweight
sometimes get called fat. Then, there's people with the »friendly« advice. The
ones who constantly bombard you with »lose weight, it's for your own good!«
lines. Yeah ... No. Honey, no. If you're concerned for me, tell me once (and don't
tell me at all if you don't know me!). Then, if I ask you for your help, help
me. If I say that I feel fine, take my word for it. But don't tell me
constantly that I'm too heavy and that I need to lose weight.
How do you feel
in your body? Honestly? Do you love yourself (because you should!) or hate
yourself? Why? Share it in the comments!
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